Guy 2: Chronicles Of A Single Chic

Chronicles of a single chic: So I went on Date 1 with Guy 2 from this internet thing. I’m not sure if I’m being petty- so if you read this little blurb- tell me what ya think.

So I meet the guy/ he’s a foreigner which I think is cool. You know how sometimes different cultures are associated with certain smells well he smelled like his association…..not a bad thing but I noticed. He was kinda spicy smelling- like you wanted to pepper him on your food…..but anyways – he’s younger than me so I was already hesitant- like he’s a lot younger.


I got out of the car and I swear I towered over him a whole bunch – and I wore flats because I didn’t know how tall he was not going to be. Again no big deal- I just feel like he should have mentioned that he was 4’7 in that damn bio. We went out for drinks and I mentioned that I hadn’t eaten- so here’s where the date went sour for me…..I ordered a 5 piece chicken- asked him if I should order a larger portion- he said he wasn’t hungry but when those yummy chicken pieces came- he surely reached over and helped himself to the deliciousness- no big deal.

But when the bill came- he looks at me all innocently and asked if I was taking care of the bill. My look of bewilderment must have been apparent so he suggested we split the bill- the gosh darn bill was $18 …… I was just so confused- who in the f splits an $18 bill on the first date? I thought it was a joke- I chuckled … wasn’t. He waited patiently as I got my $9 portion. As we were waiting for our cards- he’s talking about the next date- I’m trying to figure out when the fuk’ I could leave this one.


We get to my car- I just want to go home-but nope- he sits in my car…..I’m like yawning and giving all the signals that say I’m over this date yo- he didn’t get it….he reached over and up and went in for a hug -and he had this petting thing he did … rubbing my head down like a pet gerbil or something. Flipping awkward…. He tried to end with a kiss-I tried to choke his lil throat…..he’s younger so he thought we were playing a little fight game….. Guys are weird yo-