You can’t win ’em all – a rant about tech support

I work tech support for an ISP, and I get calls from all over America from people asking questions, seeking help, or just plain looking for someone to chat with. One of the things I run into most are customers that call into my company and expect not to be helped. I can only assume that this is due to prior experiences with other tech support agents in the past, whether that’s with my company or another.

These are both the worst and the best customers, for me. They are the worst because they start the call angry – and they don’t even believe you can help them. The phone rings, my line picks up, and boom: angry customer screaming about how terrible the company is. Let me tell you, that is not a fun thing to hear first thing on a Monday morning.

However, on some occasions, they can be an absolute joy to work with. The reason for this is pretty simple: I get to help someone with a critical issue, and get the satisfaction of a job well done once they leave my line. Now, I’m gonna go out on a bit of a limb here and say I’m pretty good at my job. I have all sorts of stats and metrics to back me up on this, but you’re gonna have to take my word on it, because those things are SuPeR dUpEr SeCrEt CoMpAnY dOcUmEnTs, or whatever. Can’t post ’em. More often than not, though, I fix people’s problems.

There are few things more rewarding than speaking with someone who is out-of-their-mind angry at you and 15 minutes later is suddenly your best friend and wants to talk to your boss because you’ve done such a bang-up job. It’s more than just a check mark in a little box at the end of a call, it’s a feeling of accomplishment at a job well done.

It’s a bit like being a craftsman, in a way. For instance, a carpenter will build a shelf, or a table, or a chair for a customer. The customer goes away happy with his product, and the carpenter gets paid, But in addition to the money, the carpenter receives the additional feeling of pride as he watches something that he created with his bare hands satisfy another customer.

In my position working tech support, I use my words much like the carpenter uses his hands. A customer gives me a puzzle to solve and, by asking the right questions and applying proper leverage, the pieces become clear. Soon, I’m able to fit them together and see the full picture. The customer’s service is restored, and they leave happy. I get the additional bonus of pride in my work. Few things feel better than knocking a problem out of the park for someone in need.

Admittedly, my service is a little less permanent than the work of a true craftsman, since the only consistent factor of technology is its inevitable failure, but I get that sense of accomplishment nonetheless.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of calls that go South whether I want them to or not. Sometimes an issue is out of my control, such as when a a line breaks, or a telephone pole gets knocked down during a storm. During these moments, I become a target – the only visible representation of the customer’s problem. And they hate us for it.

I just spoke with a lovely man in New England, for instance. We chatted for about 15 minutes during the course of our troubleshooting, and we found out that we each had relatives in each other’s home towns. And then… it came time to schedule a repair man.

Now, this guy called nearly at the end of our working day. Our technicians were at their last appointment for the night, at this point, so there was no chance of us getting out there before the end of the day. Nothing against the guy, he was just calling too late for us to go out and repair his service. The good news was that we had a spot open for him first thing tomorrow morning, so we could be out there in less than 24 hours to get him all patched up.

“No, tomorrow doesn’t work for me. We’re going to a graduation. Not going to be home all day.”

Ok, fair enough. We have a spot the day after, and again, we could even make it first thing in the morning.

“No, that day doesn’t work for me either. I have meetings all day.”

“Ok,” I say, but it doesn’t actually have to be you at the house that lets us in. Do you have a neighbor, or a friend, who-”

“I absolutely do not. I mean, I have a friend who could do it, but I’d rather not get him involved.”

Ok, not a huge problem. Normally.

However, he begins to shoot down each and every schedule option I give him, both AM and PM. Every day.  I work with this guy for 10 minutes, trying to find a spot on our schedule that works for him and finally, finally, he finds a spot four days out that works for him. And then he says, and I have a little trouble believing this myself-

“I can’t believe you guys won’t be here sooner.”

Sorry buddy. My hands are tied. I did everything I could for you, and you made it absolutely clear that were going to put in the least effort possible on your part. To be honest, my dude, I’m having trouble believing that in your city you have exactly one friend, and the only reason you can’t involve him is because you don’t want to. I’m sorry we can’t come out to help you at 11 PM to fiddle with electrical cables in the dark of night, hours after technicians go home to see their families.

I guess the moral of this story is that sometimes, despite your best efforts, there are times when you simple can’t solve a customer’s issue. It turned out that my customer’s issue was not a phone problem, but a scheduling problem, and for a variety of reasons he claimed that none of the solutions I offered him were acceptable. Literally at the end of my day, I had tried everything in my power to please this customer, and he still left unhappy.

That’s an awful feeling.

Maybe I get too emotionally invested in a customer’s opinion of me, maybe I just get too focused on finding a solution, but for whatever reason, instances like these make me feel like I’ve personally failed my client. And I’ll be honest, there are a few times this happens every week. It’s luck of the draw – you don’t get to choose who winds up on your phone, you can only do your best to help.

And despite all of that, I love my job. I love talking to people from all over the country, I love unknotting all the little puzzles that my callers give me, I love telling the same 5 jokes to different people, but most of all I love solving problems and helping people out. Also, I’m having trouble thinking up a good way to end this post so